I struggled over whether to send my son to nursery when I returned to work - something I was reminded of following the conviction of Roksana Lecka last week for abusing 21 children at a nursery.
Despite the occasion and the objectively beautiful dress I was wearing, the only thing I could focus on was that the way the sunlight hit the fabric emphasised my protruding stomach.
Lying motionless in a hospital bed, surrounded by beeping machines attached by wires to her tiny body, my four-month-old daughter was fighting for her life.