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Gene Hackman Redefined the Leading Man

The Atlantic

www.theatlantic.com › culture › archive › 2025 › 02 › gene-hackman-death-best-roles › 681854

In 1956, an aspiring young actor named Gene Hackman joined the Pasadena Playhouse in California, struggling to find a way into a field he’d been fascinated with since childhood. Hackman, who was born in 1930, had already served five years in the Marine Corps, then bounced around New York, Florida, Illinois, and other places without much luck. His good friend at Pasadena was another ambitious performer, Dustin Hoffman; together, they were voted “least likely to succeed” by their peers before washing out and moving back to New York to try scratching out a living. Even at the age of 26, Hackman’s hardscrabble features meant he looked like the furthest thing from a marquee idol—he seemed destined to be a bit player at best.

But over the next 50-odd years, Hackman would become the greatest, coolest, earthiest star of what’s now known as New Hollywood: an everyman who defined a generation of moviemaking better than anyone else.

Authorities in Santa Fe, New Mexico, announced this morning that Hackman had died at the age of 95. (His body was found along with that of his wife and one of their dogs; further details are pending, although the cause is not suspected to be foul play.) He retired from acting more than 20 years ago, after a career that won him two Oscars and propelled his rise to genuine if unconventional stardom. Over the course of the 1960s, Hackman had graduated from small parts and theater roles to attention-grabbing supporting work in Bonnie and Clyde, earning his first Oscar nomination in 1968. Four years later, the Academy would name him Best Actor for The French Connection, in which his work as the New York cop Jimmy “Popeye” Doyle characterized the real-world grit he brought to the silver screen.

The Conversation, 1974 (Everett)

“Doyle is bad news—but a good cop,” The French Connection’s poster roared. The slogan put the audience in the shoes of a casually bigoted, insubordinate alcoholic who bends the NYPD’s rules in pursuit of drug runners. The director William Friedkin’s film—which also won Best Picture—was part of a tidal wave of challenging, morally complex storytelling that washed ashore starting in the late ’60s. Bonnie and Clyde served as one of the movement’s first examples; its graphically violent antiheroism shocked and thrilled a new generation of moviegoers. The then–relatively unknown Hackman played Buck Barrow, the easygoing older brother to Warren Beatty’s bank robber Clyde. At that point, Hackman was most notable as a stage actor, but he stole every scene he was in alongside the better-established movie stars, grounding the brutality with his textured, endearing work.

Bonnie and Clyde received a slew of Academy Award nominations, including a Supporting Actor nod for Hackman, and lost most of them. Yet Hackman continued to scoop up meaty supporting parts, securing another Oscar nomination for 1970’s I Never Sang for My Father. With The French Connection in 1971, he vaulted to coveted leading-man status. The Academy’s tastes had caught up to the expanding influence of New Hollywood by then, a shift that the film’s five Oscar wins seemed to affirm. Hackman was now an A-lister at the age of 41, though the kind who would happily play a villain or make a cameo as well as fill severe lead roles. He was an actor with very little on-screen ego, even if he did develop a reputation for being somewhat ornery on set.

In the ’70s, he had several memorable leading turns: in the disaster flick The Poseidon Adventure, the shaggy road comedy Scarecrow (alongside his similarly regarded contemporary Al Pacino), and the wonderful neo-noir Night Moves, which reunited him with the Bonnie and Clyde director Arthur Penn. He was also the Man of Steel’s preening arch-enemy, Lex Luthor, in Christopher Reeves’s Superman franchise—a role he then returned to in two sequels, underlining that Hollywood saw him as a go-to tough guy. Maybe his best-ever screen performance came in 1974 with The Conversation, Francis Ford Coppola’s masterful exploration of paranoia. Hackman tamped down all of his gritty charm to embody a squirrely surveillance expert, again showcasing a skillful adaptability early in his career.

[Read: Someone is watching. Is it God, or your boss?]

But the actor did receive another chance to remind Hollywood—and the Academy—just how electrifying his screen persona could be. His turn in 1992’s Unforgiven as “Little Bill” Daggett, a dictatorial sheriff butting heads with Clint Eastwood’s aged outlaw in the Wild West’s dying days, won Hackman a second Oscar; in the ensuing Western revival that followed, he booked roles in films like Geronimo, Wyatt Earp, and The Quick and the Dead. He swung against type in the years that followed, however: In Get Shorty, he abandoned all his masculine swagger to portray a ditzy, failed B-movie director; and he was terrific as the baffled straight man of Mike Nichols’s anarchic comedy The Birdcage.

Bonnie and Clyde, 1967 (Everett)

Hackman’s three best performances in the denouement of his career exemplified the height of this versatility, even as he was winding down. In Crimson Tide, the director Tony Scott’s take on a Cold War thriller, the actor matched wits with Denzel Washington on a submarine, chewing scenery and smoking cigars with dazzling aplomb. He was outstanding in the writer-director David Mamet’s Heist as a hard-case, no-nonsense thief who, according to Mamet’s dialogue, was “so cool, when he goes to sleep, sheep count him.” And in some of his greatest on-screen work ever, Hackman depicted the resentful, acidic patriarch in the Wes Anderson dramedy The Royal Tenenbaums. The role captured all of his ironic charm and misanthropic appeal within the kind of debonair character that the perennial everyman had never quite shown us before. (He earned one last Best Actor trophy for his effort, at the Golden Globes.) After nearly five decades, the actor was still capable of surprises.

Hackman retired from acting shortly after Tenenbaums; his ultimate credits are the little-regarded legal thriller Runaway Jury (2003) and the poorly reviewed comedy Welcome to Mooseport (2004). Even his retirement seemed to reflect his celebrity-shunning, workmanlike approach to acting: He ensconced himself in Santa Fe, where he would be seen around town pumping gas or grabbing food occasionally. He spent his dotage writing historical novels and otherwise avoiding the limelight. The strange particulars of his passing remain a mystery thus far, but Hackman’s life was lived in quiet defiance of Hollywood fame and the strictures of celebrity. It stands to reason that his final years would be no different.

The Problem With Optimism in a Crisis

The Atlantic

www.theatlantic.com › health › archive › 2025 › 02 › optimism-anxiety-action-psychology › 681846

It’s a stressful time to be a psychiatrist in America. Not a day seems to go by without a panicked patient or friend asking me how to stay grounded in the face of the political chaos that has suddenly taken hold of the nation. One patient, a 38-year-old scientist, worries that his research will soon be defunded, ending his career. A good friend, a professor in her 60s, fears that the United States is sliding into autocracy. How, they want to know, can they make themselves feel better?

They haven’t liked the answer I’ve had to give them. This is a hard thing for a psychiatrist to say, but if you’re alarmed by Donald Trump’s hoarding of executive power and efforts to dismantle the federal government, then maybe you should be.

Plenty of Americans may cheer the disruptive effects of Trump’s flood of executive orders. But being inundated with unpredictable change over such a short period of time undermines people’s sense of security and control. It’s bound to provoke intense anxiety. Even some of Trump’s supporters appear to be reeling from the chaos: Recent polling suggests that more Americans believe that Trump has exceeded his presidential powers than not. (My patients, who are predominantly based in New York City, lean Democratic, but even some of my Republican patients have told me they are having second thoughts.)

Humans have a powerful instinct to protect ourselves from psychic pain by denying or minimizing the potential seriousness of the threats we encounter. Studies have shown, for example, that the brain selectively attends to positive information, and that people tend to discount negative predictions in order to maintain an optimistic bias. The urge is unavoidable. Several weeks after Trump’s inauguration, a close friend told me she was still on “a break” from the news. She hadn’t yet heard about the president’s proposal to turn Gaza into the “Riviera of the Middle East,” among other things.

[Read: The people who don’t read political news]

An information blackout might temporarily spare you such discomfort, but denial can be its own source of anxiety. A lack of knowledge about the environment around you increases uncertainty, which psychological studies have shown to be very stressful. For example, in one 2015 study, people who failed the California bar exam were more anxious the day before they received the news than afterward. (However, they felt more negative emotions immediately following the news.) Certainty, by contrast, allows us to activate coping strategies. That’s why we can adjust to good news or even bad news—both are clear and unambiguous—but we cannot reconcile with the unknown.

Many therapists are trained to identify the exaggerated emotional responses and distortions of reality that beset their patients, and to help them understand that things are not as bad as they imagine. But when the situation really is as dire as a patient believes, soothing reassurance that one’s distress is misplaced would be malpractice. No one can say exactly where Trump is taking the country, but those who worry about the breakdown of essential public services, the spilling of national-security secrets, and national paralysis in the face of natural disasters are empirically grounded in their concerns. Think of it this way: If your house is in danger of catching fire, the last thing you should do is disable the alarm.

Optimism relaxes us, robbing us of the drive to take action. But angst, like a smoke detector, is a powerful motivating force—one that can impel people to help bring about the very changes they need to feel better. Worrying about missing an important deadline at work might, for example, rouse you to work faster or cancel other plans that would delay your task. The solution to a constitutional crisis is less clearly defined—unless you’re a lawmaker or member of the executive branch, there’s little you personally can do to stop the erosion of democratic norms—but getting involved in local politics and community organizations can both help to shore up your corner of the world. Speaking up in defense of democratic values is also powerful, especially when many individuals are willing to do so at once.

[Read: ‘Constitutional crisis’ is an understatement]

Research suggests that you’re less likely to take such action if you insist on pretending that things will be fine. For example, in a pioneering study published in 2011, college students who were instructed to imagine that the following week would be terrific felt significantly less motivated and energetic—and were academically less productive—than their peers who were told to visualize all the problems that might take place during the coming week. In difficult times, inappropriate optimism can disarm and relax us—and substitute for actions that could actually bring about that sunny imagined future.

None of this is to suggest that abject despair is the appropriate response to the rise of authoritarianism in America. If you’re feeling anxious or hopeless, try to focus on the basics: Exercise, get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and talk about your distress with friends and loved ones. These tried-and-true strategies help us tolerate adversity.

Even better is a technique called mental contrasting, co-developed by the psychologist Gabriele Oettingen, who led the study on college students. The idea is to visualize an attainable goal (such as getting involved in local politics or running a mile), then think about all the obstacles that might get in your way (such as failing to find people who share your political vision, or shin splints). Mental contrasting has been shown to help people improve their relationships and recover from chronic pain, possibly because it undercuts the complacency brought about by unrealistic optimism. Crucially, the technique works only for goals you have a chance of achieving; in other words, mental contrasting may not be what allows you, personally, to defeat the global creep of authoritarianism. But it’s more likely to help you, say, identify five ways you can meaningfully improve your local community, then execute on them, which is likely to make you feel at least a little better.

[Anne Applebaum: The new propaganda war]

During this challenging time, maintaining one’s peace of mind—or at least a reasonable sense of hope—is a commendable goal. But first, Americans have to see the world as it is, even if it’s upsetting to many.

It’s Weird That Eggs Were Ever Cheap

The Atlantic

www.theatlantic.com › ideas › archive › 2025 › 02 › egg-prices-rising › 681844

Imagine telling someone five years ago that a carton of eggs would cost more than a pound of salmon fillet or a whole rotisserie chicken. Somehow, today, it does. Prices have doubled in the past year, with a dozen eggs going for as much as $15 in certain urban markets. Restaurants and bodegas are tacking surcharges onto breakfast dishes. Cold cases in big-box stores are empty; grocers are limiting customers to a dozen or two a visit to make stocks last. Google searches for the phrase backyard chickens have tripled in the past two months.

Consumers are furious. Eggs are the second-most commonly consumed grocery item, beating out milk and cereal. The average American eats an egg every 1.3 days, or 277 a year. Eggs provide 4 percent of protein consumed in the country and are one of the least-expensive high-quality sources of the muscle-building macronutrient.

Or at least they were, until a highly pathogenic form of bird flu spread to American flocks in 2022. Today, the Department of Agriculture is tracking 36 separate outbreaks across nine states. The disease has led to the death or culling of 27 million laying hens—nearly 10 percent of the nation’s commercial flock—in the past eight weeks alone.

[Lora Kelley: The breaking point of eggs]

As a result, the egg supply is severely constrained. Businesses are struggling. President Donald Trump campaigned on a promise to bring down the cost of consumer goods “starting on day one,” while standing in front of a display of Cheerios, bacon, flour, and, yes, eggs. But the U.S. Department of Agriculture forecasts “little chance” for improved supplies “in the near term.” Americans paying more for their omelets and bacon-egg-and-cheeses are incensed.

It might not make cash-strapped consumers feel any better, but the fact that eggs were ever ubiquitous and cheap is remarkable. Americans’ egg addiction has been made possible only through billions of dollars of technological and infrastructural investment, as well as the immiseration of billions of animals. The industrial advances that made eggs cheap in the 20th century are, in part, responsible for their excruciating cost today.  

Contemporary laying hens are likely descended from dinosaurs. (When you eat a dino-shaped chicken nugget, you eat the present injection-molded into the shape of the past, the child in the shape of the grandparent.) Humans began domesticating the birds thousands of years ago, and Christopher Columbus brought them to this continent in 1493.

The 90 billion eggs that American laying hens now produce each year are a wonder. They are nutritional powerhouses: a complete protein, with all nine essential amino acids, abounding in vitamins B2, B12, A, D, E, and K; choline; selenium; phosphorus; and zinc. They are tasty; saturated-fat and cholesterol give them a tender and unctuous mouthfeel. Plus, they are a handy ingredient, binding compounds together and providing structure and moisture to baked goods.

Contrary to their reputation, eggs are strong too. Their shells are composed of calcium carbonate, known as “nature’s ceramic,” their pointed ovoid shape stellar at dispersing force; in architectural terms, they are palm-size marble cathedrals. In one demonstration at Harvard, a carefully cushioned single egg resisted the weight of 10 lead bricks, or 250 pounds. Try crushing a raw egg by wrapping your hand around it and squeezing: It’s tough if the egg is horizontal to your fingers, and impossible if it is vertical.

Although the egg is resistant to slow, evenly distributed pressure, it is vulnerable to sharp, concussive pressure. It has to be. Neonatal chicks weighing a tenth of a pound peck their way out. Just 5.5 pounds of force will crack an eggshell. A polite handshake applies more pressure, a bite on a bacon-egg-and-cheese perhaps 20 times as much.

This quality makes eggs difficult to transport from farm to market, more like grapes than like milk or rice. Perishability poses another challenge. At room temperature, farm-fresh eggs are safe to eat for weeks. But the government requires eggs to be washed; once washed, they begin to develop dangerous concentrations of bacteria in a few hours. Whole eggs cannot be frozen; the water content in the egg expands, cracking open the shell. Separated whites freeze and dethaw fine, but separated yolks do not. Ice crystallization changes their lipid and protein structure, transforming their mucosal texture into something akin to nut butter or chewed gum. Gelatinization makes it impossible to beat the yolks into dough or whisk them into dressing, unless the frozen egg yolks are preprocessed.

For centuries, none of this was a problem, because nobody was trying to transport these fragile, messy, spoilable ovals long distances. Many American families never bought eggs. Chickens were ubiquitous on farms and homesteads—easy to raise, quick to reproduce, and free to fatten, given that the omnivorous birds are adept foragers and happy consumers of table scraps. Ranchers and growers would sell their “farmwives’ surplus” from April to July, when laying peaked.

Around the turn of the 20th century, as the supply chain started to transform, so did the chicken and the egg. Selective breeding cleaved the broiler bird from the laying hen, the former specialized to grow fat thighs and breasts, the latter specialized to pump out eggs. Chicken farming became an industry of its own, and egg farming another.

Specialized farmers moved their flocks indoors, reducing mortality rates. They figured out that lighting their barns spurred the birds into laying more eggs, and into laying them year-round. One farmer who rigged up a 50-watt bulb noted that his hens were “cackling and behaving in liveliest fashion,” laying eggs at all hours, as recounted in Susanne Freidberg’s Fresh: A Perishable History. Farmers started to lift hens off the floor on wire-mesh systems, making barns easier to muck out and tamping down infection.

[Read: Get used to expensive eggs]

A spate of agricultural innovations helped move the newfound bounty to market. Multiple inventors came up with the egg carton early in the 20th century, meaning farmers no longer had to use baskets and crates. Conveyor belts, incubators, sandblasters for cleaning, and egg-grading machines for measuring helped commoditize the product. The nascent industry piggybacked on innovations in the meatpacking industry. Companies transporting sides of beef in refrigerated trucks and warehouses began accepting eggs too.  

Even so, customers preferred fresh, local eggs to faraway, cold-stored ones well into the 20th century. Eggs were not routinely “candled” to check for spoilage, meaning a home cook never knew what cracking one open would bring, Freidberg writes. For a while, dehydrated powdered eggs became popular. The American military bought millions of pounds to feed soldiers during World War II. Bakeries started using frozen whites and processed frozen yolks. Analysts figured that consumers would opt for these stable products too. “The shell egg is fading in importance,” a member of the American Warehousemen’s Association concluded in 1941. It did not fade in importance. Advances in chicken-rearing, sanitation, shipping, and packaging, as well as advertising, brought consumers around. By the 1960s, many Americans were eating commodity eggs, rather than ones produced by local farmers or hens in backyard hutches.

Industrialization made eggs cheap. But it came with a cost, particularly for the animals that produced them.

Male chicks have no role in egg production, so they are gassed, threshed, or crushed after hatching. Female chicks have their beaks trimmed without anesthetic. Once grown, most are placed in battery cages, each bird allotted 67 to 86 square inches of space, smaller than a piece of printer paper. In these crowded conditions, laying hens cannot preen, move around, or spread their wings. The wire in the cages is slanted to let the eggs roll out, making it hard for the chickens to settle. Although 11 states have banned battery cages, three in five American commercial hens continue to reside in them.

Many birds on industrial farms show obvious signs of distress, afflicted by injury, osteoporosis, liver disease, and prolapse, as well as depression and social derangement. When their egg production drops, generally when the birds are a year or two old, they are gassed and turned into poultry meal, a main component of dog food.

The egg-production system imposes its own costs on consumers. In the 1970s, the country had thousands of small-scale egg farms, vying to win over customers with competitive prices and fresh quality. Today, 150 firms produce 95 percent of the country’s eggs, and a single one, Cal-Maine Foods, accounts for 20 percent of the market. The industry has consolidated vertically as well as horizontally. Two companies supply 90 percent of chicks. A single firm sets benchmark egg prices, hampering price discovery in the market. Consumer advocates and the courts have found evidence of price-fixing, price gouging, and “antitrust conspiracy”—made invisible on grocery-store shelves thanks to creative packaging and brand differentiation.

Of late, the centralization and industrialization of the industry have intensified the bird-flu crisis. The largest commercial egg producers own millions of birds. A single laying house holds as many as 350,000, serried into wire crates and stacked on top of one another. The virus spreads rapidly in such environments. USDA rules obligate farms to cull an entire flock if a single bird is infected; the government then compensates the farm for its losses. The culling policy helps stop the spread of the lethal virus, but the compensation policy reduces farms’ incentive to invest in smaller-scale, more humane, and safer animal-rearing practices that would limit the need for workers to kill so many birds in the first place.  

Some egg producers have managed to eke out higher earnings despite the spread of bird flu, perhaps thanks to cartelization. From 2022 to 2023, retail egg prices tripled, noted Angela Huffman of Farm Action, a nonprofit advocating for small farms. She pointed to data indicating that prices would have gone up only 12 to 24 percent in a competitive market.

The price of a dozen eggs has been a potent political issue for the past half century or so. John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon tussled over eggs in the 1960 presidential contest; a decade later, Nixon took up the issue again as inflation spiked. “Eggs have to be transported, processed, cooked, and served, but 30 cents a dozen to the farmer and $30 a dozen to whoever buys those eggs in a restaurant, that is just too much,” he told reporters in 1972, stressing that he would tackle the middleman for the common man.

During his 1996 campaign for the Republican nomination, a reporter asked Lamar Alexander how much a dozen eggs cost. He did not respond, and was later caught asking an aide to get him the number: “I need to know right now.” The Bob Dole campaign was thrilled. “Lamar may be an outsider when it comes to grocery stores, but he’s an insider when it comes to politics,” it crowed in a press release. “Next time he’s walking across New Hampshire, he might want to stop at a supermarket.”

On the trail last year, Trump lambasted Joe Biden and Kamala Harris for failing to bring food prices down. In office, his administration has blamed egg prices directly on their policies. Biden “directed the mass killing of more than 100 million chickens, which has led to a lack of chicken supply in this country, therefore lack of egg supply,” Trump’s press secretary told reporters last month.  

[Read: The chickens that are surrogates for rare breeds]

This week, the Trump administration laid out a five-point plan to get egg prices down: financing on-farm biosecurity upgrades, providing additional funds to farmers who have to cull their flocks, investing in bird-flu vaccines and therapeutics, eliminating regulations, and increasing foreign imports. Administration officials have critiqued the USDA culling policy, suggesting that vaccination and biosecurity measures should render it unnecessary. “Why does it make any sense to have a big perimeter of dead chickens, when it’s the ducks and the geese that are spreading it?” Kevin Hassett, the director of the National Economic Council, said on Face the Nation earlier this month.

But pharmaceutical firms have not invested much in bird-flu vaccines. There are no USDA-approved options, and there is no farm-by-farm vaccine infrastructure. “As ugly as it is, just like with the wildfires in California, sometimes you have to cut all the trees down and dig a fire line,” explained Matt Koci of North Carolina State University. “We can’t do anything to save that poultry house, but maybe we can dig enough of a line around it to save neighboring farms.”

Of the proposed policy measures, increasing imports would likely be the most effective. But Trump is waging a global trade war at the moment, and as the coronavirus pandemic demonstrated, companies need time and money to adjust their supply chains. “The system for egg production is both complex and time sensitive,” Emily Metz, the president of the American Egg Board, wrote in a statement. “It’s going to take a sustained period” for supply to catch up with demand.

Consumers aren’t happy, but the chickens are the ones really suffering. At least for protein-loving breakfast eaters, there are always beans.

Did Russia Invade Ukraine? Is Putin a Dictator? We Asked Every Republican Member of Congress

The Atlantic

www.theatlantic.com › politics › archive › 2025 › 02 › republicans-dictator-putin-ukraine › 681841

This story seems to be about:

In just three weeks, President Donald Trump has exploded long-standing U.S. foreign policy and sided with Russia against Ukraine and the rest of NATO. He sent American diplomats to open negotiations with Russian counterparts—without inviting Kyiv to participate. He falsely blamed Ukraine for starting the war with Russia, and echoed the Kremlin line by calling Ukrainian President Zelensky a “dictator.” Then, in a press conference on Monday, Trump declined to say the same of Putin. “I don’t use those words lightly,” he told a reporter.

Most Republicans strongly condemned Russia’s 2022 invasion of Ukraine, and have voted on multiple occasions to send the country military aid. But with their party’s leader back in the White House, many of them have grown quiet. Are any GOP lawmakers willing to say, in plain terms, what is true?

I reached out to all 271 Republican members of the House and Senate to find out, asking each of them two straightforward questions: Did Russia invade Ukraine? And is Putin a dictator? So far, I have received 19 responses.

Some members were unambiguous: “Yes and yes,” a spokesperson for Senator Susan Collins of Maine replied in an email. “Vladimir is undisputedly an enemy of America and a dictator,” read part of the statement from the office of Representative Jeff Hurd of Colorado.

Others chose to send excerpts of previous non-answer statements or links to past TV interviews rather than answer either “yes” or “no.” A spokesperson for the GOP’s House leader, Speaker Mike Johnson of Louisiana, replied only with a readout of Johnson’s praise for Trump’s deal-making prowess. A spokesperson for Senator Ted Cruz of Texas replied with a link to an interaction with ChatGPT in which the chatbot noted that Cruz had in 2022 acknowledged Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and did in 2020 call Putin a dictator. (Still, no straightforward “yes” from Cruz today.)

The House Foreign Affairs Committee, chaired by Representative Brian Mast of Florida, opted to stake out a position that seemed different from Trump’s: The panel posted a screenshot of our questions on X, with the caption: “ON THE RECORD: Russia invaded Ukraine & Putin is a dictator. But that doesn’t mean our European allies shouldn’t match Russian military spending & recruitment.” (Another post referred to our questions as “BS.”) The Atlantic followed up to ask whether this statement represented Mast’s personal view, but received no further response.

Others refused to answer entirely: “Does the Atlantic believe we’re here to answer gotcha questions to advance narrow opinion journalism?” Jonathan Wilcox, communications director for Representative Darrell Issa of California, said in an email.

In fact, it is clearly in the public interest to know how elected officials, particularly those who make decisions about national security, regard foreign powers that have long positioned themselves against the United States. And it is also clearly in the public interest for citizens to know if their representatives’ views have shifted on who is—or is not—a foreign adversary.

What follows is the full list of responses from every Republican member of Congress. It will be regularly updated with any additional responses.

Lawmakers Who Answered the Questions


Representative Don Bacon of Nebraska: A spokesperson pointed to a statement on X from Bacon on February 19, in which he said: “Putin started this war. Putin committed war crimes. Putin is the dictator who murdered his opponents. The EU nations have contributed more to Ukraine. Zelensky polls over 50%. Ukraine wants to be part of the West, Putin hates the West. I don’t accept George Orwell’s doublethink.”

Representative Michael Baumgartner of Washington: “The Congressman expressed all his thoughts on the Russia-Ukraine War to the Spokane-Review on February 19. He was very clear that Russia and Vladimir Putin were the aggressors of the war in Ukraine,” a spokesman said, adding this link.

Senator Susan Collins of Maine: “As Senator Collins has said multiple times, yes and yes,” a spokesperson said.

Senator Ted Cruz of Texas: A spokesperson shared this link, pointing to earlier statements the senator had made about Putin and the Ukraine war.

Senator John Curtis of Utah: A spokesperson pointed to Curtis’s bipartisan resolution supporting Ukraine and a February 25 interview on KSL NewsRadio, in which Curtis said, “Ukraine was invaded by a dictator.”

Representative Julie Fedorchak of North Dakota: “Yes, Vladimir Putin and Russia invaded Ukraine and yes, he is a dictator,” the representative told me. “This war has cost countless lives and destabilized the world. I believe President Trump has the strength and leadership to bring peace and restore stability in a way that puts America’s interests first.”

Representative Jeff Hurd of Colorado: “Did Russia invade Ukraine? Russia’s invasion of Ukraine was an unprovoked act of war. Russian President Vladimir Putin is a dictator? Vladimir is undisputedly an enemy of America and a dictator. It is dishonorable and wrong not to stand up against the tyranny of Putin,” a spokesperson said.

Representative Young Kim of California: “Yes to both,” a spokesperson said.

Representative Brian Mast of Florida: A spokesperson for Mast sent a link to a post on X from the House Foreign Affairs Committee calling The Atlantic’s inquiry “BS” and declaring it would cancel its subscription to our magazine. “ON THE RECORD: Russia invaded Ukraine & Putin is a dictator. But that doesn’t mean our European allies shouldn’t match Russian military spending & recruitment. Europe must realize that for our alliance to be the strongest in history, America needs a Europe that can hold its own.”

Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska: A spokesperson sent a link to a statement in which the senator said that Russia launched an “unprovoked war on Ukraine.” The spokesperson added: “And yes, she does believe that Vladimir Putin is a dictator.”

Representative Austin Scott of Georgia: “Russia invaded Ukraine and is the aggressor in this war,” the representative told me. “Putin is a dictator who has invaded Ukraine multiple times—this war would end today if he would pull his troops back into Russia.”

Senator Todd Young of Indiana: “Yes and yes,” a spokesperson said.

Lawmakers Who Responded But Did Not Directly Answer the Questions


Representative Dan Crenshaw of Texas: A spokesman provided a link to an interview with Piers Morgan in which Crenshaw cautioned against returning to a pre-World War II order allowing “dictators to conquer other countries and take their stuff.”

Representative Warren Davidson of Ohio: A spokesperson said the representative declined to comment.

Senator Joni Ernst of Iowa: “Like all Americans, Ernst wants to see an end to Putin’s unjust war that has cost far too many lives,” a spokesperson said

Representative French Hill of Arkansas: A spokesperson did not address the question of whether Putin is a dictator, but sent a link to an Arkansas PBS interview in which the representative said, “this war was started by Vladimir Putin,” and that “Ukraine has to be at the table” for any peace deal

Representative Darrell Issa of California: A spokesperson said, “Does the Atlantic believe we’re here to answer gotcha questions to advance narrow opinion journalism?”

Speaker Mike Johnson of Louisiana: A spokesperson sent over Johnson’s recent comments during this week’s GOP leadership press conference about Trump’s dealmaking skills and his desire for peace in Ukraine, but did not answer either question directly.

Senator Tommy Tuberville of Alabama: A spokesperson did not answer directly but sent a link to an interview with Newsmax, in which the senator said, “President Trump is not a Putin apologist. He just wants to get the war over with.”

Senate Republicans Who Have Not Responded

Jim Banks
John Barrasso
Marsha Blackburn
John Boozman
Katie Britt
Ted Budd
Shelley Moore Capito
Bill Cassidy
John Cornyn
Tom Cotton
Kevin Cramer
Mike Crapo
Steve Daines
Deb Fischer
Lindsay Graham
Charles Grassley
Bill Hagerty
Josh Hawley
John Hoeven
Jon Husted
Cindy Hyde-Smith
Ron Johnson
Jim Justice
John Neely Kennedy
James Lankford
Mike Lee
Cynthia Lummis
Roger Marshall
Mitch McConnell
Dave McCormick
Ashley Moody
Jerry Moran
Bernie Moreno
Markwayne Mullin
Rand Paul
Pete Ricketts
James Risch
Mike Rounds
Eric Schmitt
Rick Scott
Tim Scott
Tim Sheehy
Dan Sullivan
John Thune
Thom Tillis
Roger Wicker


House Republicans Who Have Not Responded

Robert Aderholt
Mark Alford
Rick Allen
Mark Amodei
Jodey Arrington
Brian Babin
James Baird
Troy Balderson
Andy Barr
Tom Barrett
Aaron Bean
Nick Begich
Cliff Bentz
Jack Bergman
Stephanie Bice
Andy Biggs
Sheri Biggs
Gus Bilirakis
Lauren Boebert
Mike Bost
Josh Brecheen
Rob Bresnahan
Vern Buchanan
Tim Burchett
Eric Burlison
Ken Calvert
Kat Cammack
Mike Carey
John Carter
Earl Buddy Carter
Juan Ciscomani
Ben Cline
Michael Cloud
Andrew Clyde
Tom Cole
Mike Collins
James Comer
Eli Crane
Jeff Crank
Eric Rick Crawford
Monica De La Cruz
Scott DesJarlais
Mario Diaz-Balart
Byron Donalds
Troy Downing
Neal Dunn
Beth Van Duyne
Chuck Edwards
Jake Ellzey
Tom Emmer
Ron Estes
Gabe Evans
Mike Ezell
Pat Fallon
Randy Feenstra
Brad Finstad
Michelle Fischbach
Scott Fitzgerald
Brian Fitzpatrick
Charles Chuck Fleischmann
Mike Flood
Vince Fong
Virginia Foxx
Scott Franklin
Russell Fry
Russ Fulcher
Andrew Garbarino
Brandon Gill
Carlos Gimenez
Craig Goldman
Tony Gonzales
Lance Gooden
Paul Gosar
Sam Graves
Mark Green
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Morgan Griffith
Glenn Grothman
Michael Guest
Brett Guthrie
Harriet Hageman
Abe Hamadeh
Mike Haridopolos
Pat Harrigan
Andy Harris
Mark Harris
Diana Harshbarger
Kevin Hern
Clay Higgins
Ashley Hinson
Erin Houchin
Richard Hudson
Bill Huizenga
Wesley Hunt
Brian Jack
Ronny Jackson
John James
Dusty Johnson
Jim Jordan
David Joyce
John Joyce
Thomas Kean
Mike Kelly
Trent Kelly
Mike Kennedy
Jennifer Kiggans
Kevin Kiley
Brad Knott
David Kustoff
Darin LaHood
Nick LaLota
Doug LaMalfa
Nicholas Langworthy
Robert Latta
Michael Lawler
Laurel Lee
Julia Letlow
Barry Loudermilk
Frank Lucas
Anna Paulina Luna
Morgan Luttrell
Nancy Mace
Ryan Mackenzie
Nicole Malliotakis
Celeste Maloy
Tracey Mann
Thomas Massie
Michael McCaul
Lisa McClain
Tom McClintock
Richard McCormick
Addison McDowell
John McGuire
Mark Messmer
Daniel Meuser
Carol Miller
Mary Miller
Max Miller
Mariannette Miller-Meeks
Cory Mills
John Moolenaar
Barry Moore
Blake Moore
Riley Moore
Tim Moore
Nathaniel Moran
Greg Murphy
Troy Nehls
Dan Newhouse
Ralph Norman
Zach Nunn
Jay Obernolte
Andrew Ogles
Bob Onder
Burgess Owens
Gary Palmer
Scott Perry
August Pfluger
Guy Reschenthaler
Hal Rogers
Mike Rogers
John Rose
David Rouzer
Chip Roy
Michael Rulli
John Rutherford
Maria Elvira Salazar
Steve Scalise
Derek Schmidt
David Schweikert
Keith Self
Pete Sessions
Jefferson Shreve
Michael Simpson
Adrian Smith
Christopher Smith
Jason Smith
Lloyd Smucker
Victoria Spartz
Pete Stauber
Elise Stefanik
Bryan Steil
Greg Steube
Dale Strong
Marlin Stutzman
Dave Taylor
Claudia Tenney
Glenn GT Thompson
Thomas Tiffany
William Timmons
Mike Turner
David Valadao
Jefferson Van Drew
Derrick Van Orden
Ann Wagner
Tim Walberg
Randy Weber
Daniel Webster
Bruce Westerman
Roger Williams
Joe Wilson
Tony Wied
Robert Wittman
Steve Womack
Rudy Yakym
Ryan Zinke

With additional research and reporting by Amogh Dimri, Marc Novicoff, Gisela Salim-Peyer, and Annie Joy Williams.

The Internet’s Favorite Sex Researcher

The Atlantic

www.theatlantic.com › ideas › archive › 2025 › 02 › aella-internet-sex-researcher › 681813

Over the course of 2024, Aella cried on 71 different days, showered on 24, and took ketamine on 14. We know this because she meticulously gathers and posts information about people’s personal, emotional, and sexual lives—including her own. The crying number was unusually high, she says, because of a bad breakup. For many fans, the more boggling statistic was that last year, she had sex on only 41 days, but on one of those days, she had sex with nearly 40 people. We’ll come back to that.

After years of following Aella’s online outrages and unexpected insights, I wanted to meet her for myself—to understand her unusual occupation as a cam girl turned sex researcher, and to hear her perspective on what the internet has done to human sexuality. But my first IRL encounter with her, one day last spring, involved staring at a closed front door.

Aella had invited me to her home in Austin, but then slept through our designated appointment time. Even my frantic knocking and texting didn’t rouse her. Eventually, though, once she had woken up and been for a swim in the local springs, her assistant let me into the house and made me a mushroom coffee. Explaining that she was gradually bringing order to Aella’s life, the assistant opened a closet to reveal a rail of neatly hung bras. This was a first in my journalism career—being invited to appreciate an interviewee’s underwear. Not that Aella would mind, because her entire appeal is based around her lack of filter. Polaroids of her, masked and topless, were stuck to the fridge.

[Jane Coaston: The nudes internet]

“I can’t really get canceled,” she told me when I finally met her, “because what are you gonna do?” By then she was sitting with her legs curled up underneath her on a chair, wearing only a robe and underwear, next to a giant, curved monitor of the type beloved by crypto day traders.

Aella is her longtime pseudonym; the 33-year-old keeps her birth name private. Describing precisely what she does for a living is difficult: Her X bio describes her as a “whorelord” and a “vexworker,” by which she means that she is an OnlyFans star, occasional escort, and organizer of sex parties. She is unabashedly a nerd, once describing herself as “a gremlinesque neckbeard who found himself in a hot woman’s body.” And she has turned her experience of selling sex into a large-scale research project.

Thanks to her talent for virality, she has been able to create huge online surveys that, despite the limitations of the medium, provide some of the broadest insights that we have into sexuality in the 2020s. More than 700,000 people have responded to her “Big Kink” survey. She has learned, among other things, that “pigtails” are a more popular fetish than “armpits.” She is as uninhibited about asking inflammatory questions as she is about posting nudes: She has written about whether penis size is correlated with race (“We haven’t had a good, high-n study”) and asked her followers if they would support the creation of realistic child-size sex dolls for pedophiles (77.4 percent said no).

One of the biggest problems in sex research is recruiting participants who can be induced to answer questions honestly. This is where Aella’s experience of capturing the internet’s attention gives her an advantage. The Big Kink survey takes about 40 minutes to complete—long enough to weed out trollish and spam responses. But how could she expect to keep unpaid respondents interested for that long? Her solution was to promise them a freakiness rating at the end, like a classic BuzzFeed personality quiz.

Justin Garcia, an evolutionary biologist who serves as the executive director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, sees Aella as the young-Millennial version of Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the sex educator whose grandmotherly charm made her a disarming advocate of sexual liberation. As Dr. Ruth understood, many Americans’ lives were once blighted by their inability to articulate, much less confront, their relationship needs. Even today, people withhold details about their sexual interests from their partners, their doctors, and academic researchers. Yet they’ll spill quite a lot to a sex-positive internet personality, and all those revelations add up to a huge body of information.

Like much American social-science research, Aella’s sample skews white and college-educated. Liberals are overrepresented in her data; most of her followers are men, but most of her survey respondents are women. Online polls like hers have limitations, Garcia told me. “But,” he added, “they do tell us what people are thinking about.”

Aella was raised in Idaho in a fundamentalist-Christian family that was so socially conservative, her parents showed her and her two younger sisters a censored version of Titanic. Her father is an evangelist and a radio host who used to be flooded by hate mail from atheists and other Christians. That turned out to be a preview of Aella’s own experience of threats and abuse, and good practice for life online. On a recent seven-and-a-half-hour episode of the podcast Whatever, she was part of a panel of 10 women who were hectored and mocked by Andrew Wilson, a fellow guest and self-described Christian “bloodsports debater.” When he insinuated that she didn’t understand science, she kept her cool and calmly explained basic statistical methods to him. His argumentative tactics, she said afterward, reminded her of her father’s.

She always felt like an outsider, she says now. She remembers writing in her teenage journals that “everybody else has access to a secret script that I don’t know what it is.” She left home at 17 after an argument. Once she started seeing flaws in her Christian beliefs, her faith crumbled quickly. “I have a tendency to take things to an extreme,” Aella once told Playboy. She flipped from devout teenager to libertine 20-something, barely passing through the dull span of vanilla dating and low-key Sunday churchgoing.

After dropping out of college in northern Idaho, Aella became a cam girl—because streaming explicit content for money couldn’t be worse than her day job on an electrical-equipment assembly line, she reckoned. She both enjoyed and excelled at it, and she soon started researching what made some girls more successful than others. Her findings surprised her: Viewers liked idiosyncrasy and theatricality as much as nudity and straightforward hotness. And so she began to stage surreal scenes—dressing up as a mime, pretending to seduce a chair, doing a “dinosaur moonwalk,” playing the accordion. On an internet filled with horny nerds, the juxtaposition of weird and sexy can be lucrative. She earned more than $100,000 in her best month on OnlyFans, and has thousands of paid subscribers on Substack.

Her first moment of virality outside the camming sites came in 2013, from a series of photos that showed her undressing, before being dragged off camera by garden gnomes. The “Getting Gnaked” set was viewed more than 2 million times within a year. Aella also found that, contrary to many of the stereotypes about online porn, a physically submissive woman was not what most straight men wanted. Instead, her customers fantasized about scenarios in which they were essentially passive—a “basic hot girl” just fell into their arms. “Like, Oh, we’re the last people on Earth, right?” she told the podcaster Lex Fridman. In a conclusion that might unsettle some feminists, she finds that the proportion of women who are interested in feeling submissive is greater than the proportion of men who want to feel dominant. Perhaps my favorite Aella claim is that she can arouse her escorting clients just by expressing enthusiasm as they explain high-level concepts to her. (Her current rate is $4,000 an hour.)

During her early career, she bounced around the U.S., living in Boston, New York, and the Bay Area, as well as Portland, Oregon. She gravitated toward a scene known as rationalism, wherein self-professed nerds apply a coldly rational lens to subjects that are often clouded by emotion or dogma, such as the heritability of intelligence, whether you should altruistically donate a kidney to a stranger, and whether it’s acceptable to have sex with your sister. “once i threw a party for the bay area rationalists, and the rules to attend were you had to be wearing a full-face coverage mask, and be naked,” she wrote on X in 2021, during the pandemic. “Many came; they all bravely stripped, donned weird masks … and then proceeded to sit in a polite circle and debate global trade.” Her bracingly unfiltered posts put her in my peripheral vision years ago; while I am worried about the potential for abuse and exploitation in sex work, her originality and openness have always intrigued me.

Last February, somewhat infamously, she enrolled 42 men to have sex with her en masse via a Google Form, then rented a venue, recruited eight women to act as fluffers, and asked the men to put on matching commemorative bathrobes. The resulting Substack post is a masterpiece, starting with an epigram from Nelson Mandela: “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” (She detailed how two of the attendees, waiting in line, bonded over the fact that their start-ups had received support from the same venture-capital fund.) This was how she managed to have sex on so few days last year, but with so many different people. It is also one of many, many incidents in Aella’s life that most people would regard with awe, horror, or both.

[Helen Lewis: The outrage over ]100 Men only goes so far

Aella originally felt drawn to sex research because her own sexual interests are outside the mainstream. She practices polyamory and freely discusses her fetish for “consensual nonconsent”—which is to say, scenarios in which she pretends to be taking part against her will. If she were “super normie” about sex, she told me, “I don’t think I would have the need to dissect it.” This places her in the grand tradition of American sex researchers who defied convention in their own personal life and, whether they acknowledged it or not, became advocates for greater sexual permissiveness. Alfred Kinsey, a pioneer in the field in the 1940s and ’50s, was married to a woman but had sexual relationships with at least one of his male students. The biologist shocked the country with his first book about human sexuality, which claimed that only half the population is exclusively heterosexual throughout adulthood. “I suspect that Kinsey’s great project originated in the discovery of his own sexual ambiguities,” the author of a 1972 Atlantic article hypothesized. Kinsey’s ostensibly objective scholarship was a concealed polemic: He wanted to expand the scope of “normal.”

In the 1960s, the gynecologist William Masters and and his research partner (and later wife) Virginia Johnson also defied prim scholarly norms by serving as consultants to Playboy, reasoning that the magazine was a good way to reach young men, and they supplied female “surrogates”—therapeutic escorts—to single men with sexual inhibitions, erectile disorder, and other conditions.

Throughout the 20th century, sex researchers willed themselves to suspend moral judgment. Kinsey had a saying, Justin Garcia told me, that is often quoted at the institute that bears his name: “We are the recorders and reporters of facts—not the judges of the behaviors we describe.” Yet the field still has taboos, just different ones. The feminist commentators Catharine McKinnon and Andrea Dworkin, whose work is highly influential on university campuses, have argued that pornography is inherently harmful to women. Some of Aella’s findings challenge that view. She finds that men who watch online porn, rather than being desensitized to what real-life sexual partners want, are better at guessing what women want in bed.

Aella is not familiar with the academic traditions that have shaped modern sex research. When I asked her about Kinsey and Masters and Johnson, she told me that she hadn’t read their work. This irritates some mainstream researchers: J. Michael Bailey, a Northwestern University psychology professor who studies sexual orientation and arousal, told me he was “annoyed” by what he saw as her casualness, and denied being merely territorial. “She hasn’t bothered to learn things,” Bailey told me. “Sex research is not just asking a few questions to a lot of people. If it were, we would know a lot more than we know.”

[Conor Friedersdorf: Don’t fire people for making pornography in their spare time]

Nonetheless, Bailey said, “she talks about things without worry, and we should all be doing that a lot more.” He thinks that some mainstream academic sex research has suffered from “the encroachment of ideology,” becoming queer or feminist activism by other means. (Bailey’s 2003 book, The Man Who Would Be Queen, which argues that some gender transitions are sexually motivated, prompted some transgender activists to accuse him of research misconduct—claims that a subsequent investigation did not substantiate.) Bailey invited Aella to join an email discussion group he runs, and he asked her to promote a survey on sadomasochism that his graduate student was running. If he thought her work was worthless, he said, “I wouldn’t have asked for the help.”

Garcia noted that, because sex research is a prime target for political scrutiny, institutions like his take great care with study design, researchers’ conflicts of interests, and gaining approval from review boards. “Aella, her work blurs those boundaries,” he told me. “But they were created by a field to protect itself, and add rigor and protection from political attacks.”

Unconstrained by such concerns, Aella has spelunked through the extremes of modern sexuality. Among them is vore, a rare fetish “around swallowing someone whole or being swallowed whole, typically by a much larger creature,” as she put it. Researching the phenomenon is tricky. Trying to find, say, 300 people who like vore within the results of a bigger survey would require a huge initial number of respondents. Recruiting participants on a vore forum solves that problem, she has written, even if it does introduce some sampling bias: “Maybe these people are less ashamed about their fetish; maybe they’re lonelier in real life; maybe they’re much more into vore than the actual population of people into vore,” Aella argued. Or, of course, they could be lying.

[Helen Lewis: Nobody should care about a woman’s ‘body count’]

Still, as Aella and others have shown, the universe of niche sexual interests is enormous. And really, this is the big change that the internet has brought to sexuality itself—not just the study of it. Anyone who grew up with a latent vore fetish 100 years ago, or even 30, might have gone their whole life without meeting a fellow enthusiast for being swallowed whole. Bailey published research on people who both desire amputees and fantasize about becoming amputees. “What’s wonderful is that, today, people with these weird sexualities find each other online,” he told me. “It’s really a heyday for studying unusual phenomena like that.”

That raises some obvious follow-up questions: What if the internet is not just connecting people with weird sexual interests, but creating them? Should there ever be a time when sex researchers say, Hang on, that’s far enough?

Aella, who considers herself a libertarian, had come to Austin in the hope of meeting like-minded people, away from the default leftism of the Bay Area. But even in America’s supposed heterodoxy capital, she felt shunned. She joined an invitation-only society for freethinkers called Based in Austin, but was quickly kicked out of the group by fellow anti-woke warriors. Her offense was to post, in a chat thread about venue suggestions, a recommendation for a space where she had once held an orgy. She also didn’t last in a support group for OnlyFans creators, because other women—who she said were “very, very, like, social justice, very leftist”—objected to her provocative posts.

Aella thinks that America still has a deeply hypocritical attitude to sex. “It feels like we simultaneously have a culture where we say sexual liberalism is good, but in action, we find reasons to not allow individual expression to happen,” she told me when I caught up with her again over Zoom, a few months after my visit to Austin. She cited PornHub’s refusal to host videos of sleep fetishes. But there was a good reason for that policy, I said—the trial of Dominique Pelicot and 50 other French men revealed that Pelicot had recruited men to rape his unconscious wife under the pretext that the couple were indulging a consensual fetish about “sleeping beauties.”

My main point of disagreement with Aella is that she has a much sunnier vision of human nature than I do. While some people do like consensual nonconsent, others clearly relish actual violation and sadism in and out of the bedroom. Aella’s blitheness about the risks of her job—she wrote a guide to escorting, in which she describes one client aggressively biting and choking her—seems to be born from the same off-kilter approach to life that makes her such a good amateur anthropologist. In Austin, I was surprised that she invited me, a total stranger, to meet her at home. Eighteen months earlier, a man had appeared at her door and attempted to kidnap her. (Police later found a garrote at his home, alongside a knife, duct tape, and the names of two other sex workers. The man took a plea deal and is already out of jail.)

[Helen Lewis: How Joe Rogan remade Austin]

Ultimately, she left the Texas capital after a different episode of personal turmoil. She had hoped to have children, only to discover in August that her primary partner wasn’t interested in starting a family. When she revealed the breakup online, a predictable storm of schadenfreude ensued. For “posting publicly about being devastated from a breakup,” she wrote on X, her reward was “people laughing how you deserved it.”

She packed up her belongings and moved back to California. Her new housemate is one of the fluffers from her orgy—a woman who was also dating Aella’s boyfriend but broke up with him too, in solidarity. “We were both dating my ex, and then we’re both not dating him,” she told me. With her living arrangements sorted, Aella wants to work on a book and co-author some scientific papers, both of which might allow her to gain the respectability she needs to attract more funding. She might seek out what she calls “performative credentials.”

In the meantime, though, she still embraces the queasily intimate dynamics of internet celebrity—an openness that provides rich fodder for cruel armchair psychologists. Isn’t she just getting back at Daddy? How will she ever find love? I find something endearing about her refusal to be bowed by this kind of jeering. Aella bravely voyages to the frontiers of American sexuality, collecting data on people’s darkest desires, uncovering the hidden economics of the online sex trade, and refusing—despite all the mockery—to filter herself.

The Art of Splitting Up

The Atlantic

www.theatlantic.com › newsletters › archive › 2025 › 02 › why-divorce-expensive › 681792

This is an edition of The Atlantic Daily, a newsletter that guides you through the biggest stories of the day, helps you discover new ideas, and recommends the best in culture. Sign up for it here.

Just as the institution of marriage has evolved, so has the institution of divorce. In a review of Haley Mlotek’s new divorce memoir, the writer Rachel Vorona Cote traces the introduction of “no fault “ divorce—a split without the designation of blame. California was the first state to legalize such divorces, in 1969; New York, in 2010, was the last.

Sometimes, splitting up involves placing or sharing blame. Other times, it’s more simply about making a new choice for where you want life to take you—but simplicity doesn’t mean ease. Today’s reading list rounds up Atlantic stories on saying goodbye.

On Splitting Up

Dear Therapist: I Don’t Know How to Help My Best Friend Through Her Divorce


By Lori Gottlieb

How I Demolished My Life


By Honor Jones

The High Cost of Divorce


By Olga Khazan

Still Curious?

A divorce memoir with no lessons: Haley Mlotek’s new book provides neither catharsis nor remedies for heartache, but rather a tender exploration of human intimacy, Cote writes.

Breakups always hurt, but you can shorten the suffering: Three steps to get over your ex

Other Diversions

The fantasy of a nonprofit dating app

Want to change your personality? Have a baby.

The ultimate antidote to toxic behavior online

P.S.

Courtesy of Sarah C.

Each week, I ask readers to share a photo of something that sparks their sense of awe in the world. Sarah C. from Northville, New York, shared this photo, taken by her husband, of the “peaceful, vibrant colors of fall on our beach, located on the Great Sacandaga Lake.”

I’ll continue to feature your responses in the coming weeks. If you’d like to share, reply to this email with a photo and a short description so we can share your wonder with fellow readers in a future edition of this newsletter or on our website. Please include your name (initials are okay), age, and location. By doing so, you agree that The Atlantic has permission to publish your photo and publicly attribute the response to you, including your first name and last initial, age, and/or location that you share with your submission.

— Isabel

The Great Resegregation

The Atlantic

www.theatlantic.com › politics › archive › 2025 › 02 › trump-attacks-dei › 681772

This story seems to be about:

The nostalgia behind the slogan “Make America great again” has always provoked the obvious questions of just when America was great, and for whom. Early in the second Trump administration, we are getting the answer.

In August, speaking with someone he believed to be a sympathetic donor, one of the Project 2025 architects, Russell Vought, said that a goal of the next Trump administration would be to “get us off of multiculturalism” in America. Now Vought is running Donald Trump’s Office of Management and Budget, and the plan to end multiculturalism is proceeding apace. Much of the chaos, lawlessness, and destruction of the past few weeks can be understood as part of the administration’s central ideological project: restoring America’s traditional hierarchies of race and gender. Call it the “Great Resegregation.”  

[From the January/February 2024 issue: Civil rights undone]

Since taking office, Trump has rescinded decades-old orders ensuring equal opportunity in government contracts and vowed to purge DEI from the federal government, intending to lay off any federal worker whose job they associate with DEI. Yesterday evening, Trump fired the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Charles Q Brown, and replaced him with a lower ranking white official, a retired three-star Air Force officer named Dan Caine. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth had previously attacked Brown as an unqualified diversity hire based on the fact that he is Black. Trump’s Department of Justice has implied that it will prosecute or sue companies that engage in diversity outreach. Elon Musk’s DOGE is attempting to purge federal workers “that protect employees’ civil rights and others that investigate complaints of employment discrimination in the federal workplace,” the Washington Post reported. Colleges and universities are being threatened with defunding for any programming related to DEI, which the free-speech organization PEN America has noted could include “everything from a panel on the Civil Rights Movement to a Lunar New Year celebration.”

Trump has also signed executive orders that threaten government funding for scientific research on inequality or on health issues that disproportionately affect nonwhite ethnic groups, and has imposed censorious gag orders that could block discussion of race or sex discrimination in American classrooms. During her confirmation hearing, Trump’s education-secretary nominee, Linda McMahon, said she did not know if schools could lose funding for teaching Black-history classes under the order. The legality of the order over K–12 curricula is unclear, but the chilling effects are real nonetheless.

Under the Trump administration, schools within the Department of Defense system that serve military families—American service members are disproportionately Black and Hispanic—have torn down pictures of Black historical figures and removed books from their libraries on subjects such as race and gender. This record, within a school system entirely under the administration’s control, offers an alarming preview—one in which a historical figure like Harriet Tubman is no longer a welcome subject in educational settings because she was a Black woman.

An OMB memo ordering a federal-funding freeze illustrates the ideological vision behind these decisions. The memo states that the administration seeks to prevent the use of “federal resources to advance Marxist equity, transgenderism, and green new deal social engineering policies,” Acting Director Matthew Vaeth wrote. Equal opportunity in employment is described here as “Marxist,” because it affirms what the desegregators see as an unnatural principle: that nonwhite people are equal to white people, that women are equal to men, and that LGBTQ people deserve the same rights as everyone else.

If the Great Resegregation proves successful, it will restore an America past where racial and ethnic minorities were the occasional token presence in an otherwise white-dominated landscape. It would repeal the gains of the civil-rights era in their entirety. What its advocates want is not a restoration of explicit Jim Crow segregation—that would shatter the illusion that their own achievements are based in a color-blind meritocracy. They want an arrangement that perpetuates racial inequality indefinitely while retaining some plausible deniability, a rigged system that maintains a mirage of equal opportunity while maintaining an unofficial racial hierarchy. Like elections in authoritarian countries where the autocrat is always reelected in a landslide, they want a system in which they never risk losing but can still pretend they won fairly.

The battles of the Great Resegregation are now taking place in at least three overlapping arenas. The first is politics, where right-wing legal organizations have succeeded in rolling back many civil-rights-era voting protections; they want to now fully destroy the remaining shreds. The second is education and employment, particularly at elite institutions, such as the media and academia; right-wing legal strategies have been similarly fruitful here in attacking diversity, thanks to the conservative capture of the Supreme Court. The third is popular culture, where conservatives have sought to leverage anger and nostalgia against movies, television, books, and other creative media brought to life by artists of color.

The term DEI, frequently invoked by the Trump administration, functions as a smoke screen. It allows people to think that the Trump administration’s anti-DEI purge is about removing pointless corporate symbolism or sensitivity trainings. Although it is easy to find examples of DEI efforts that are ill-conceived or ill-applied, some conservatives have leveraged those criticisms to pursue a much broader agenda that is really about tearing anti-discrimination laws out at the roots, so that businesses and governments are free to extend or deny opportunities based on race, gender, and sexual orientation if they so choose.

“This is really taking us back to a kind of pre-civil-rights-movement vision of America,” Sherrilyn Ifill, the former head of the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, told me in an interview last year, before Trump won the 2024 election. “A backlash is a pushback. This is really much more of a demolition effort.”

As the Trump State Department official Darren Beattie wrote, “Competent white men must be put in charge if you want things to work. Unfortunately, our entire national ideology is predicated on coddling the feelings of women and minorities, and demoralizing competent white men.” This analysis is perceptive in the sense that the exact reverse is true—we are now in the second decade of a years-long temper tantrum sparked by the election of Barack Obama—not to mention the failed attempts to elect a woman to succeed him—and the effect it had on the fragile self-esteem of people like Beattie.

[Read: Is there anything Trump won’t blame on DEI?]

Other MAGA figureheads have promoted similar ideas. In 2020, the conservative writer Christopher Caldwell published a book arguing that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 had revoked “the de jure constitution of 1788, with all the traditional forms of jurisprudential legitimacy and centuries of American culture behind it.” Because of the Civil Rights Act, white people had fallen “asleep thinking of themselves as the people who had built this country and woke up to find themselves occupying the bottom rung of an official hierarchy of races.”

Caldwell’s assessment has grown in popularity among prominent conservatives. The right-wing activist Charlie Kirk has described the Civil Rights Act as having “created a beast, and that beast has now turned into an anti-white weapon,” and he has attacked Martin Luther King Jr., Wired reported, as part of a “broader strategy to discredit” King and “the Civil Rights Act.” On his social network, X, the South African–born Musk, who is playing a key role in the Trump administration, regularly promotes scientific racism, the pseudoscientific ideology that holds that race determines individual potential. Some of the staffers Musk has hired to dismantle the enforcement of anti-discrimination laws seem to share those ideological predilections. One DOGE staffer resigned after the Wall Street Journal revealed he maintained a pro-eugenics social media account where “he appeared to have a special dislike for Indian software engineers.” He was reinstated after receiving public support from Trump and Vance.  The problem conservatives trying to undermine anti-discrimination law seem to have with an “official hierarchy of races” is not that one exists but that, in their warped conception, white people are not on top, as they should be.

This ideology is apparent in the rote blaming of diversity by some conservatives for every catastrophic event—as they did following a midair collision over the Potomac River. Or a freighter crashing into a bridge in Baltimore. Or doors flying off Boeing planes.The contention, overt or implied, is always that unlike white men, whose competence can be assumed, the non-white people with desirable jobs are undeserving. The irony, of course, is that many of the white men making these assumptions are themselves unqualified. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy is best-known for being a reality-television star.  

Even so, the Great Resegregation seeks not a return to the explicit racial separation of Jim Crow, but rather an embrace of ostensibly “color-blind” policies intended to sustain a de facto segregation that is more durable and less overt, one in which Black access to the middle and elite strata of American life will be ever more rare and fleeting. The numbers of Black doctors, lawyers, scientists, architects, showrunners, and generals would no longer rise. And there would be no more Black presidents. The real but fragile advancement of the Black poor into the Black middle class would be stalled or reversed. Most Black people would be confined to, as Trump memorably put it, the menial “Black jobs” they were meant for, save for those willing to sustain the self-serving fiction that they are among the good ones.

The demolition of multiracial democracy began a dozen years ago, when the Supreme Court’s conservative majority rolled back voting-rights protections adopted in the 1960s to enforce the rights enshrined in the Fifteenth Amendment. Those protections made America, for the first time, a democracy for all its citizens. They diversified Congress, and led to the election of the first Black president. The Roberts Court has steadily eroded those protections, insisting that they are no longer necessary, even as racist ideas once considered beyond the pale return to the mainstream. These changes have had the predictable outcome of increasing racial disparities in voting.

The Roberts Court has treated policies meant to rectify racial discrimination as themselves racist. The Court shut down what remained of public-school integration efforts. It overturned affirmative action in higher education. These decisions have eroded diversity in the classroom. But they’re just the beginning for the resegregators, who intend to ensure that America’s traditional racial hierarchies are persistent and stable.

One clear example comes in the world of higher education. Because giving all Americans equal access to elite higher education is a step toward broader societal integration, such efforts must be shut down. To this end, conservative groups are suing colleges even in states such as California, where affirmative action in public universities has long been banned, claiming that the fact that their incoming classes have become more diverse rather than less is evidence of reverse discrimination. At least two conservative justices have objected to color-blind, class-based affirmative-action programs. This approach suggests a topsy-turvy understanding of racial discrimination, in which a diverse classroom is one in which white men have been discriminated against, based on the conviction that white men are by definition the most competent possible candidates.

[Read: Donald Trump is very busy]

When Trump officials speak of a society that is color-blind and merit-based, they do not appear to mean meritocracy or color-blindness in the traditional sense. Instead of individual meritocracy, they seem to be advocating a racial meritocracy, in which the merit of an individual hire or admission can be assessed not by their individual accomplishments but by how well the group they are associated with fits a particular role. In this way, the Great Resegregation seeks firmer moral ground than the racial apartheid of the past. Racial disparities can be framed not as the result of discrimination, but as a fact: that white people are just better and more qualified. And by withholding federal funding from places that engage in scientific inquiry on social inequalities or offer historical instruction that could be seen as portraying America as “fundamentally racist, sexist, or otherwise discriminatory,” the Trump administration can make the causes of those inequalities illegible.

What the proponents of the Great Resegregation seek is a counterrevolution not merely in law, but also in culture. The civil-rights revolution of the 1960s changed hearts and minds as well as laws, and one of those changes was that racially exclusive institutions became morally suspect. Notably, Trump officials are not willing to state their aims explicitly; they feel obligated to pay lip service to ideals of color-blind meritocracy and mislead about their intentions.

“My view is that the diversity ethos has really sunk deep roots,” the Harvard Law professor Randall Kennedy told me. “There are a lot of people across a wide variety of ideological positions who would not like a racially homogeneous, all-white outfit. Even people who say they’re against affirmative action, they would feel somewhat nervous or somewhat embarrassed or somewhat guilty about that.” Trumpists seek to not just repeal protections against discrimination, but reverse the “diversity ethos” that has enabled America’s tenuous strides toward equality.

And that progress is not only fragile but remarkably incomplete. Neither schools nor workplaces have ever been particularly integrated. Public-school integration stalled long ago. Even prior to the Supreme Court’s decision outlawing affirmative action in admissions, enrollment of Black and Hispanic students at elite universities had stalled at percentages far below their share of the student-age population. Occupational segregation has remained stagnant since the ’90s. Black workers with or without college degrees are concentrated in professions that pay less than those of their white counterparts, despite a rise in Black people obtaining college degrees. Corporate DEI efforts never made much progress on integration to begin with, in part because many of these efforts were more about branding and limiting liability than equal opportunity, and now the federal government will be dead set on reversing whatever headway was made.

“The segregation we see in the labor market right now is three to five times worse than we would expect if race wasn’t a core factor,” Justin Heck of Opportunity@Work, an organization that advocates for workers without college degrees, told me. “We’ve seen it go down a little bit in the years leading up to 1990. But the current world looks the same as it did in 1990. It’s been stagnant or worse, or slightly worse today.” Heck is one of the authors of a 2023 study on occupational segregation published by the National Bureau of Economic Research.

There are perhaps two exceptions. One is the federal government, where until now, anti-discrimination laws have been strictly enforced. Trump’s cronies have tried to discredit the federal workforce precisely because it is often more meritocratic, and therefore more integrated than the private sector. “It’s harder in a federal-government job to get a position simply through an informal network,” the political scientist Ashley Jardina, who also worked on the NBER study, told me. “Whereas in the private sector, especially in building trades, for example, a lot of people are getting their jobs through their social networks, which are incredibly segregated.”

That is why Trumpists are so focused on “ending DEI” in the federal workforce. They see anti-discrimination and inclusion as a ladder of upward mobility for people they do not believe should have one. Under Trump, a workplace or college that is perceived as too diverse might come under legal scrutiny, effectively enforcing racial quotas. For example, Andrew Bailey, the attorney general of Missouri, is suing the coffee chain Starbucks on the basis that after adopting DEI programs its workforce has become “more female and less white.”

The second place where America has grown more integrated is media and entertainment, arenas highly visible to the public. This has depreciated the value of what W. E. B. Du Bois called the “psychological wage” of white racial identity—making those who once held an unquestioned hegemony over American culture feel like something has been stolen from them. And this shift helped fuel the nationwide backlash to diversity efforts that Trump rode to office.

[W. E. B. Du Bois: Strivings of the Negro people]

The slight but substantive integration of characters in film, television, and other forms of entertainment has itself led to a visible backlash, subjecting actors, writers, and other creative workers of color to harassment whenever they participate in a high-profile project, especially in the genres of science fiction or fantasy. An integrated cast, writers’ room, or development team is deemed “woke,” by which critics simply mean integrated, and therefore suspect. A woman, LGBTQ person, or person of color in a leading role is deemed unqualified, or worthy of rejection just because of who they are. What may seem like silly internet controversies are in fact demands for a resegregation of creative workplaces.

“I think probably part of why we observe more integration in some spaces and others also just has a lot to do with the demands that capitalism places on having a market,” Jardina told me. “It earns money for media organizations and studios to diversify their shows and their casts, because there’s a market for that, in the same way that there isn’t in a lot of industries.”

In other words, the exceptions to America’s persistent segregation have taken place in America’s most public-facing professions, among those assigned to interpret the world around them. What people consuming American media see, for the most part, is a mirage of a more integrated America that has yet to come into being. In virtually every other arena—the private-sector workplace, housing, schooling—America remains profoundly segregated, with opportunities limited by class and race.

This is why Trump’s funding freeze has targeted DEI despite no evidence that the government has lowered its standards on behalf of women and minorities. Asked to provide a real example of lowered standards in the military during his confirmation hearings, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was unable to. The U.S. military has long led the way in demonstrating how a diverse workforce yields American excellence—one reason some conservatives are fixated on its relative egalitarianism, which they deride as “wokeness.” Hegseth recently said he believed that “the single dumbest phrase in military history is our diversity is our strength." The Nazis and Confederates learned otherwise.

Of course he himself is an illustration of lowered standards—Hegseth has no demonstrable expertise for the job he was given—but because he is a white man, his qualifications for the job are assumed, as a result of the Trumpist concept of racial meritocracy. This is why the funding freeze is targeting research on inequality. It is why private companies are threatened with government lawsuits and prosecutions if they seek a broader pool of applicants. It is why the Trump administration’s deportations do not target merely undocumented criminals but also immigrants on Temporary Protective Status. It is why Trump’s loyalists are dismantling any and all government programs that might conceivably even the playing field between those born with plenty and those born with little.

For all the big talk about putting an end to “social engineering,” the Great Resegregation is itself a radical attempt to socially engineer America to be poorer, whiter, less equal, and less democratic. Much as the old Jim Crow measures kept many southern white people impoverished and disenfranchised alongside the Black southerners they targeted, the Great Resegregation will leave wealthy white elites with a firmer grip on power and the working classes with fewer opportunities and a weakened social safety net. The only people left with more will be those who already had more than they needed to begin with.

Fire crews rescue woman stuck in storm drain in San Bernardino, California

Euronews

www.euronews.com › 2025 › 02 › 21 › fire-crews-rescue-woman-stuck-in-storm-drain-in-san-bernardino-california

Fire crews in San Bernardino have rescued a woman trapped in an underground storm drain. She was safely removed and taken to a hospital for a check-up, with no visible injuries.

Americans Are Stuck. Who’s to Blame?

The Atlantic

www.theatlantic.com › podcasts › archive › 2025 › 02 › mobility-moving-america-stuck › 681740

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May 1, 9 a.m., was once the hour of chaos in New York City. In a tradition dating back to colonial days, leases all over the city expired precisely at that time. Thousands of tenants would load their belongings on carts and move, stepping around other people’s piles of clothing and furniture. Paintings of that day look like a mass eviction, or the aftermath of some kind of disaster. In fact, that day represented a novel American form of hope. Mobility, or the right to decide where you wanted to live, was a great American innovation. But lately, that mobility is stalling, with real consequences for politics, culture, and the national mood.

In this episode of Radio Atlantic, we talk with Yoni Appelbaum, a senior editor and the author of the new book Stuck: How the Privileged and the Propertied Broke the Engine of American Opportunity. Appelbaum explains how, over the decades, several forces combined to make it harder for the average American to move and improve their circumstances. And he lands at some surprising culprits: progressives, such as Jane Jacobs, who wanted to save cities but instead wound up blocking natural urban evolution and shutting newcomers out.

The following is a transcript of the episode:

Hanna Rosin: This is Radio Atlantic. I’m Hanna Rosin.

I have moved many times in my life: across continents, across the country, back and forth across D.C., which is where I live now. And I didn’t think much about it. I just chalked it up to restlessness—until I read Yoni Appelbaum’s new book, which is also the March cover story in The Atlantic. The book is called Stuck: How the Privileged and the Propertied Broke the Engine of American Opportunity.

Appelbaum argues that there is and always has been something quintessentially American—and also, quintessentially hopeful—about moving. In the 19th century, Moving Day was, like, a thing—a holiday celebrated across different American cities at different times, when everybody would just up and move. To quote Appelbaum: “Nothing quite so astonished visitors from abroad as the spectacle of thousands upon thousands of people picking up and swapping homes in a single day.”

But moving isn’t happening so much anymore. As Appelbaum writes: “Every year, fewer Americans can afford to live where they want to.” So what happens to a country—geographically, culturally, politically, and, in some ways, psychologically—when mobility starts to stall?

[Music]

Rosin: Can you read this from your intro, these couple of sentences?

Yoni Appelbaum: “The notion that people should be able to choose their own communities—instead of being stuck where they happen to be born—is America’s most profound contribution to the world … The fact that it is now endangered is not just a problem for housing markets; it’s a lethal threat to the entire American project.”

Rosin: Okay. Let’s start with the second half: Why is mobility the thing that defines the American project?

Appelbaum: It is the thing that defines the American project, because it was the first thing that anyone who got here from Europe noticed. People would come to the United States and gawk. They saw this as either our greatest asset or our great national character flaw. But they were amazed at how often Americans moved. And they were particularly amazed that the Americans who were moving were not moving out of desperation, that Americans tended to be doing okay in one place and to still want something more for themselves—want something better for their children—and to move someplace else in pursuit of it.

Rosin: And you’re not just describing something geographic. You’re describing something psychological.

Appelbaum: Yeah. I’m talking about an attitude that Americans believed that they could change their destinies by changing their address, that they could move someplace new and do better than they were doing. And also—and this is the second half of the answer—Americans believed that they were not defined by the circumstances of their birth. That was the great gift that mobility gave us. And that had really profound implications that took me a while to unravel.

Rosin: Right. Because it’s not just about geography. It’s not just about money.

It’s about a sense of yourself as having infinite possibilities. Like, you could just move and move. You weren’t class-bound in any way.

Appelbaum: Here’s the thing about American individualism: We are individuals, in the sense that we have the ability to construct our own identities, but we define ourselves by virtue of the communities that we choose to join.

Throughout the world, communities tended to choose their members. Even in the early United States, in the colonial era, if you tried to move in someplace, you could be warned out. The town had the right to say, Hey. You may have bought property here. You may have leased a building. You may have a job. We don’t want you here. And not surprisingly, they disproportionately warned out the poor. They warned out minorities. Really, American communities, for the first couple hundred years of European settlement, were members-only clubs.

And then in the early 19th century, there’s a legal revolution. And instead of allowing communities to choose their members, we allow people to choose their communities. You could move someplace and say, I intend to live here, and that was enough to become a legal resident of that place.

Rosin: So just in numbers, can you give a sense of where we are now? What’s the statistic that shows most starkly the decline in mobility now?

Appelbaum: In the 19th century, as best I can calculate it, probably one out of three Americans moved every year.

Rosin: Every year?

Appelbaum: Every year. In some cities, it might be half. In the 20th century, as late as 1970, it was one out of five. And the census in December told us we just set a new record, an all-time low. It’s dropped over the last 50 years to one out of 13. It is the most profound social change to overcome America in the last half century.

Rosin: It’s so interesting, because if you told me that someone moved that many times in a year, I would not associate that with upward mobility. I would associate that with desperation and problems.

Appelbaum: For a long time, that’s exactly what historians thought too. There was this guy, Stephan Thernstrom, who set out to investigate this, and thought what he had discovered, in all this moving about, was what he called the “floating proletariat,” right? Here was evidence that, in America, the American dream was chimerical. You couldn’t actually attain it. There was this great mass of people just moving from one place to another to another.

And several decades later, as we got better data-mining tools, we were able to follow up on the floating proletariat and find out what happened to them. The people who had stayed in one place, Thernstrom saw—they were doing a little better than they had before. But when we could track the people who had left, it turned out, they were doing much better, that the people who relocate—even the ones at the bottom of the class structure—across every decade that historians can study, it’s the case that the people who move do better economically. And this is really key: Their kids do better than the people who stayed where they were.

Rosin: It’s like Americans are, in their soul, psychological immigrants. Like, that we behave the way we think of immigrants behaving, and the more robustly we do that, the better off Americans are. The most evocative image that you draw is something called “Moving Day,” from an earlier era. I had never heard of that. Can you paint a picture of what that is?

Appelbaum: We’ve got these wonderful accounts of Moving Day from people who came over, more or less, just to see it. By law or by custom, in most cities and in most rural areas, all unwritten leases expired on the same day of the year. And this actually gave renters an enormous leg up in the world in most times, in most places, because it meant that an enormous number of properties were potentially available to them. They could go back to their landlord and say, If you want me to stay for another year, you gotta fix the leaky sink. Or they could try someplace better.

And they would all pile their possessions down at the curb. First thing in the morning, they’d hire a cart to take them across town or down the lane, and then they would push past the family that was moving out of some other apartment or townhouse or home. As they were taking their stuff out, they’d be moving their stuff in. But between sunup and sundown, a quarter, a third, half of a city might relocate. And there are these descriptions of trash lining the gutters as things fell out of the carts or there wasn’t room for it in the new apartment, and people would go scavenging through the gutters, trying to find, out of the trash, their own treasures.

It was raucous and wild, and respectable Americans always looked down on it. And yet, for the people who participated in it, it was a way to have their home be kind of like an iPhone or a car: You keep the one you have for a year or two, and then you trade up for a newer model.

Rosin: So upgrades. Now, where is this happening? Is this happening in cities of a certain size, in immigrant communities? Like, who is doing all this chaotic moving?

Appelbaum: Well, that’s one thing that really upset the upper crust.

Rosin: And who are they? Let’s define all the sides. Who are the respectable Americans?

Appelbaum: The respectable Americans are those of long-standing stock who are trying very hard to impress the European cousins. And they are appalled that this defect of their national character—that people don’t know their place. They don’t know their station. They’re always moving around looking for something better for themselves, and they write about it in those kinds of moralistic terms.

But the people who are participating in it, it’s very broad. I mean, when you’re talking about half the city moving, what you’re talking about is activity that’s as much a middle-class and upper-middle-class activity as it is a working-class activity. As long as you are adding a good number of fresh new homes to the market every year, pretty much everybody who moved could move up, because the wealthy were buying brand-new homes that had just been erected.

But they were vacating, you know, homes that were a few years older or apartments that they were moving out of, and those became available to the upper-middle class, right? And you’d get a chain of moves. You can trace this, you know, a dozen, 15 moves, one family succeeding another, succeeding another—and everybody moving up to something a little bit better than they had the year before. And, you know, just like an iPhone or a car, they’re chasing technological innovation. One year, you move into a new apartment, and it’s got running water. And, you know, two years later, the water runs hot and cold, and it’s a miracle, right? So everybody is constantly moving up in the world as they constantly relocate.

Rosin: So there are decades of massive amounts of mobility. It’s considered respectable enough. And then, at some moment, a few forces start to slow this all down. So can you tell the story of what happens in Lower Manhattan?

Appelbaum: Yeah. It’s sort of a sad story when you look closely at it. Lower Manhattan, the Lower East Side, is like no place that’s ever existed before or since. It is so dense. People are living in tenements at a sort of rate per acre, the way demographers measure this, that is multiples of any place in Manhattan today.

Rosin: Do you remember the numbers? Because I think they’re extraordinary. Maybe I’m just remembering this from going to the Tenement Museum, but when you actually look at the density numbers, they are just hard to get your head around.

Appelbaum: Yeah. I think it’s, like, 600 per acre. It’s really, really, really high. There’s no place in Manhattan today that’s even a third as dense, even though the buildings are now much, much taller. So they’re really squeezed in there. And reformers are appalled. And there are real problems with some of these, you know—what they’re really appalled about, it turns out, is less the housing conditions than the presence of so many immigrants, with their foreign ways, foreign religion, foreign languages, weird foods, odd smells, right?

They’re looking at this, and they are not happy that this is invading their city. They’re not subtle about it. They’re quite clear that they think that apartments are themselves degrading. This is the original progressive era, and there’s a tight intertwining between the reformers and government, and they move fluidly among them.

Rosin: Wait. Like, who is the “they”? Are we talking about city planners? Just, this is a really interesting moment. So I just want to—because it’s unexpected, this part of the history.

Appelbaum: Lawrence Veiller is sort of Mr. Tenement Reform. He’s the guy who will write most of the reports, who’ll serve on the commissions, who’ll move in as the first deputy commissioner of the Tenement Office when New York creates one. Like, he is both a government official and a reformer, and that was pretty typical. They move fluidly among these jobs. And he is the guy who really goes on a crusade against tenements.

And maybe the most remarkable moment in my research was stumbling across a speech he gave at a conference, where somebody had asked, How do you keep apartments out of your city? And he says, Well, you know. The problem is: If you put it to a vote, you can’t keep them out of your city, because people actually like living in apartments. They serve a useful function. So what you have to do is solve it the way I’ve done it in New York: You call it fire-safety regulation. And you put a bunch of regulations on the apartments that make them prohibitively expensive to build. But be careful not to put any fire-safety regulations on single- or two-family homes, because that would make them too expensive. And as long as you call it “fire safety,” you can get away with keeping the apartments and their residents out of your neighborhoods.

And it’s one of those moments where, you know, you just sort of gape at the page, and you think, I can’t believe he actually said it. I was worried, maybe, I was reading too much into some of the other things that he’d said. But here he is straightforwardly saying that much of the regulatory project that he and other progressives pursued was purely pretextual. They were trying to find a whole set of rules that could make it too expensive for immigrants to move into their neighborhoods.

Rosin: So we’re in a moment of just resistance to tenements and apartments and crowdedness. How does this, then, become encoded? What’s the next step they take?

Appelbaum: You know, the problem with building codes is that, ultimately, there are ways around them. People are developing new technologies. It’s not enough to keep the apartments back. It’s not enough to pen the immigrants into the Lower East Side.

And there’s a bigger problem, which is that the garment industry in New York is moving up Fifth Avenue. And on their lunch breaks, the Jewish garment workers are getting some fresh air on the sidewalks, and this infuriates the owners of the wealthy department stores on Fifth Avenue, who say, You’re scaring off our wealthy customers. And they want to push them out. They try rounding them up and carting them off in police wagons. They try negotiating with the garment-factory owners. But, of course, these workers want to be out on the sidewalk. It’s their one chance for fresh air, and it’s a public sidewalk. So there’s a limit to what they can do, and they finally hit on a new solution, which is: If you change the law so that you can’t build tall buildings near these department stores, then you can push the garment factories back down toward the Lower East Side.

Rosin: You know, anytime you step into the history of the technical and possibly boring word zoning, you hit racism.

Appelbaum: You know, the thing about zoning, which is sort of the original sin of zoning—which is a tool invented on the West Coast to push the Chinese out of towns and then applied—

Rosin: —in progressive Berkeley! That’s another thing I learned in your book, is how Berkeley, essentially, has such racist zoning origins.

Appelbaum: It’s a really painful story, and zoning, ultimately, is about saying there are always laws, which said there are things that you can’t do in crowded residential areas. But zoning was a set of tools, which said, Some things are going to be okay on one side of the tracks and not okay on the other. And given that that was the approach from the beginning, it was always about separating populations into different spaces.

And so New York adopts the first citywide zoning code. And at first, this is spreading from city to city. The New Deal will take it national.

Rosin: And what does—the zoning code is not explicitly racist? What does it actually say in the government documents?

Appelbaum: Well, that’s the brilliance of the zoning code. The courts have been striking down explicit racial segregation. But if you wrote your ordinance carefully enough and never mentioned race, you could segregate land by its use. You could figure out how to allow in some parts of your city only really expensive housing, or in other parts of your city, you could put all of the jobs that a particular immigrant group tended to have.

Rosin: Like the Chinese laundromat on the West Coast. Like, No laundromats. That’s the famous one.

Appelbaum: Exactly. That’s the original zoning ordinance: We’re gonna push all the laundries back into Chinatown. And if you push the laundries into Chinatown, you’re pushing their workers into Chinatown. So there were ways to effectively segregate—not foolproof, but effectively segregate—your population without ever having to use any racial language in the ordinance, and so it could stand up in court but still segregate your population.

Rosin: Okay, so we have zoning laws, we have government complicity in kind of dividing where people live, and then we have someone who comes in as a supposed savior, particularly of Lower Manhattan. Maybe not a savior, but someone who appreciates the diversity in the city as it is, and that’s Jane Jacobs. And you tell a very different story of the role she plays in all of this, which really brings us to the modern era. So can you talk about who she is and what role she played in transforming Lower Manhattan?

Appelbaum: Yeah, it’s a little heartbreaking sometimes to look closely at your heroes and find out that the story you thought you knew is not the one that actually played out. Jane Jacobs was a woman who saw clearly what it was that made cities great, at a time when almost nobody wanted to recognize that.

She saw the diversity of their populations, of their uses, the way that people mixed together as being not, as the progressives had it, something that needed to be corrected with rational planning, but as a strength that needed to be recognized and rescued and reinforced. And she stood tall against urban renewal, against the notion that the way to save cities was to knock them flat and to rebuild them with all the uses very carefully segregated out.

And she wrote this brilliant book, The Death and Life of Great American Cities, that laid out these principles, and she saved her own neighborhood from urban renewal and became, in the process, sort of the patron saint of urbanism. And her great lesson that she took from all of these experiences was that you needed to empower individuals with a deep appreciation of urban life, with the tools to stop governments. And that was the gospel that she preached. And in many ways, it was necessary at that moment, at the peak of urban renewal. But what she didn’t understand at the time—maybe couldn’t have understood at the time—was that she was going to create problems that were even worse than the problems that she was trying to prevent.

[Music]

Rosin: After the break: how Jane Jacobs inadvertently contributed to the stuckness of America.

[Break]

Rosin: Okay, so here we have Jane Jacobs. She moves into—what street was that that she moved into?

Appelbaum: She moves into 555 Hudson Street.

Rosin: Okay, she’s on Hudson Street. That’s an amazing place to live. What had been all around her was—who was living there at the time? It wasn’t other people like her.

Appelbaum: No, it mostly wasn’t. She and her husband are two working professionals in Manhattan who are able to pay all cash for a townhouse on this block that is mostly filled with immigrant families. And it’s changing at the time. She’s not alone in coming in, in that way.

But it’s mostly been a neighborhood of immigrants, the children of immigrants. It’s got tons of street-front retail, and she writes about this beautifully, which activates the street front. The eyes on the street keep them safe during the day. She writes about the intricate ballet of the sidewalk as people dodge around each other, and people each pursuing their own tasks are able to live in harmony, in concert. She writes about this block absolutely beautifully, even as she is killing all of it.

Rosin: So if we freeze her there, then she’s a heroine of the city who appreciates it in all its diversity. So then what happens? How does the tragedy begin?

Appelbaum: You know, I tracked down the family that was in that building before she bought it. It was a man named Rudolph Hechler. Two of his adult children and his wife were working in a candy store on the ground floor. So they were renting, living above the shop that they operated, and that shop was everything that Jacobs says make cities great. It was a place where you could go and drop your keys if you’re going to be out for a while, and your kid could come pick them up and let themselves into the house. It was a place where you could just stop and talk to your neighbors.

It was the kind of thing that Jacobs praised, but when she buys the building, she gut renovates it. She tears out the storefront. She turns it into a single-family home. She rips off the facade of this historic building and replaces it with modern metal-sash windows. She so thoroughly alters the appearance, presents a blank front to the street, where before there’d been a lively storefront, that when they eventually, at her urging, historically landmark the block, they find that the building that she lives in has no historic value whatsoever.

And so here, you have somebody who has written this ode to the way people are living around her but buys a building within it and changes it to suit her own family’s need—which was a reasonable thing, I should say, for her to do under the circumstances—but then landmarks the block, which prevents people from building new buildings in the way that that block had always had. So there’s a couple buildings right next to hers that have been torn down and turned into a six-story apartment building before she moves in. But her changes make it so that nobody can do that again. And if you’re not building new buildings to accommodate growth, what you’re going to have in response to mounting demand is rising prices.

Rosin: So the counterfactual history with no Jane Jacobs—I understand that this is imaginary—is what? You just build bigger, taller apartment buildings that more people can afford to move into, and you maintain it as a mixed neighborhood, which is partly immigrant, partly young professors?

Appelbaum: Yeah, the counterfactual is that her neighborhood and other urban neighborhoods throughout the country continue to do what they had done right up until about 1970, which is that they evolve. Sometimes the buildings get taller; sometimes they get shorter. I lived in a neighborhood once that had seen lots of buildings have their top stories shorn off when demand had fallen.

Cities morphed; they changed. And yes, in response to mounting demand, you would have had to build up. You have to make space for people to live in cities if you want to continue to attract new generations and give them the kinds of opportunities that previous generations have had. But she did not want that. And in fact, almost nobody ever wants that, which is a real challenge.

Rosin: And is this aesthetic? Is it just that it’s historic preservation? Is it just about: People arrive at a place, and they have an aesthetic preference, and that’s what ends up freezing change? Like, that’s what ends up preventing change?

Appelbaum: Well, let’s go back to the beginning of the 19th century, when we get this legal change, which says, You can just move someplace and establish residence. The reason that states make that change is because they are looking around at communities, and they see that communities individually are walling themselves off to new arrivals, even though, collectively, it is in the interest of the individual states and the United States to let people move around.

They take that right away from communities. They recognize that if you let communities govern themselves, they will always wall themselves off. Change is really hard. It is uncomfortable. Even if a lot of changes leave you better off, while you’re going through them, you may not welcome them. And if you give communities the power to say, We’re going to pick and choose what we allow. We’re going to pick and choose who can live here, then those communities will almost always exercise that power in exclusionary ways.

And this is even worse: The communities that exercise it most effectively will be the ones that are filled with people with the time and the money and the resources and the education to do that. And so you’ll separate out your population by race, by income. That’s what happens. That’s what was happening in the United States when we opened ourselves up to mobility. And we reversed that, and for a long stretch, we were this remarkable place where people could move where they wanted.

And as we’ve switched that and given the tools back to local communities to make these decisions, the communities are behaving the way that local communities have always behaved, which is with a strong aversion to change and a disinclination to allow the interests of people who might move into the community to trump the interests of those who are already there.

Rosin: And I guess the communities who are less willing to see themselves that way, because it goes against their sense of themselves, or progressive communities—like people who are interested in historic preservation, who say they love cities, who are interested in urban renewal—like, those are not the same people who think of themselves as complicit. I mean, your subtitle is accusatory. It’s like, “breaking the engine of opportunity.”

Appelbaum: It is, and it’s led to a lot of uncomfortable conversations with friends. But when I look out at the country, what I see clearly is that the people who believe that government can make a difference in the world, the people who believe that through laws and collective action, we can pursue public goods—they want government to do things like preserve history, protect the environment, help historically marginalized populations. Well, they create a set of tools to do this. They’re inclined to see government use those tools. When, invariably, those tools get twisted against their original purposes and get used, instead, to reward affluence, it is the most progressive jurisdictions where this happens to the greatest extent.

I’ll give you a statistic from California that blew my mind, which is that for every 10 points the liberal vote share goes up in a California city, the number of new housing permits it issues drops by 30 percent.

Rosin: You talked about how this changes our framework on certain things, like a housing crisis—that we tend to say there’s a housing crisis, but that isn’t quite right.

Appelbaum: Yeah. We talk a lot about an affordable-housing crisis, but what we’ve got is a mobility crisis. And the distinction is twofold: One, there’s a lot of cheap housing in America. It’s not in the places where most people want to live. Housing tends to get really, really cheap when all the jobs disappear. I would not recommend relocating large numbers of Americans to those communities. Their prospects will be pretty bleak. You want the housing to be where the opportunities are rich. And so if all we’re trying to do is make housing affordable, without an eye on where that housing is located, on what kinds of opportunities it opens up, we’re pursuing the wrong solutions.

We also often—and this is the other side of it—create solutions. If we think of it as an affordable-housing problem, you can do something like build a lot of new public housing. But we’ve never in this country managed to build enough public housing to meet demand. Usually, if you manage to get in, it’s like a winning lottery ticket. Why would you ever give that up? Which is to say that you are stuck in place. You are tied to the place where you happen to be lucky enough to get the rent-controlled apartment, to get the public-housing unit, to get your voucher accepted after months of fruitless searching. And then you’re really disinclined to leave, even if staying in that place puts you and your family at all kinds of disadvantages.

And so if we have policy that’s focused on allowing people to live where they want, rather than policy that’s simply focused on affordability, we’re likely to return not just the kind of social and economic dynamism that have made America a wonderful place to live, but we’re also likely to return the sense of personal agency.

Rosin: Okay. Last thing: In reading this book and having this conversation, what struck me is that, essentially, you’re making a defense of America—its rootlessness, America’s infinite choice. And right now, those two things—our rootlessness and our infinite choice—are things which we think of as cursing us. The words we often use now are loneliness, lack of community, bowling alone—however you want to call it. We talk a lot about our spiritual collapse as related to the same mobility and rootlessness that you describe as a positive force in the book. And I wonder how you’ve talked about that or reconciled it.

Appelbaum: If you take a graph of when Americans joined a lot of clubs—the Bowling Alone graph, right, where Americans belong to a lot of voluntary associations and when they didn’t—and you match it against the graph of when Americans have moved a lot and when they haven’t, they line up really well, and they line up in a surprising way.

When we’re moving a lot, we’re much likelier to build really vibrant communities. When you leave someplace and start over, you’re gonna go to church on Sunday to try to find friends and build connections. Or if church is not for you, maybe you go to the local bar. Maybe you join the PTA. It depends on the phase of life that you’re in. But when people relocate, they tend to be much more proactive in seeking out social connection. Over the course of time, we fall into familiar ruts. We tend not to make as many new connections. We tend not to join as many new organizations. And people who have been a resident for a long time in a place—they may list a lot more things that they belong to, but they’re less likely to be attending them, and they’re less likely to add new ones.

The peak of American communal life comes during our peaks of mobility. When we’re moving around a lot, we’re creating a really vibrant civil society that was the envy of the world. And over the last 50 years, as we’ve moved less and less and less, all of those things have atrophied. And there’s one other side, too, which is: It’s not just about measuring the health of voluntary organizations. If you’re moving a lot, you’re giving yourself a chance to define who you want to be, to build the connections that are important and meaningful to you, as opposed to the ones that you’ve inherited.

We know something about how that works psychologically. People who are trapped in inherited identities tend to become more cynical, more embittered, more disconnected over time. People who have the chance to choose their identities tend to be more hopeful. They tend to see a growing pie that can be divided more ways, and therefore they’re more welcoming of strangers and new arrivals. They tend to be more optimistic. And if you restore that dynamism, it doesn’t mean that you’ve got to leave behind your inherited identities. It means that committing to those inherited identities becomes a matter of active choice too.

And so the United States, traditionally, was a country that was much more religious than the rest of the world, because people could commit to those faiths that they were adopting or sticking with. Americans were expected to have a narrative of, like, Why do I go to church? It wasn’t something which was really comprehensible to somebody who came from a country where everybody had the same faith. You didn’t have to ask yourself, Why am I Muslim? Why am I Catholic? In America, you always did.

And so our faith traditions tended to be particularly vibrant. So it’s not some sort of assault on tradition. I’m not advocating that we dissolve our social ties and each new generation negotiate new ones. I’m saying, the thing that has made American traditions very vibrant, the thing that often made American immigrants more patriotic than the people in the lands they left behind, and American churchgoers more religious than they had been in the old world was precisely the fact that they got to choose.

And even committing to your old traditions and your inherited identities became a matter of active choice, and something that was much more important to folks. And so you got the vibrancy both ways—both the new affiliations that you could create, the old traditions that you chose to double down on. But it all stemmed from individual agency. You have to give people the chance to start over so that their decision to stay is equally meaningful. If you choose to stay, that’s great. If you feel like you’ve got no choice, that’s really terrible.

Rosin: All right. Well, thank you, Yoni, for laying that out and joining us today.

Appelbaum: Oh, it’s a pleasure.

[Music]

Rosin: Thanks again to Yoni Appelbaum. His book, again, is Stuck: How the Privileged and the Propertied Broke the Engine of American Opportunity.

This episode of Radio Atlantic was produced by Jinae West and edited by Claudine Ebeid. It was engineered by Rob Smierciak and fact-checked by Sam Fentress. Claudine Ebeid is the executive producer of audio at The Atlantic, and Andrea Valdez is our managing editor.

I’m Hanna Rosin. Thanks for listening.

A Divorce Memoir With No Lessons

The Atlantic

www.theatlantic.com › books › archive › 2025 › 02 › no-fault-haley-mlotek-divorce-memoir-review › 681692

Modernist writers such as Virginia Woolf understood that we cannot depict life on the page precisely the way we experience it; she experimented with chronology and language to capture the subjectivity of human existence. Some writers might meet this challenge by rethinking conventional narrative altogether. In her debut memoir, No Fault: A Memoir of Romance and Divorce, Haley Mlotek shows how this central incompatibility yields a useful provocation: There are hazards in relying on stories as the prevailing metaphor for one’s romantic experiences, and even one’s life in total. “The terror of wondering what story my life would be was a perfect distraction from wondering why my life needed to be a story,” she writes in a concluding chapter.

This is all to say that No Fault is not a love story, or even a life story, because it refuses to tell a story in the first place. It is neither chronicle, nor testimony, nor confession; rather, it is a personal and cultural inquiry into the significance of divorce, and by extension marriage, that emphatically rejects resolution. Compared with other recent works branded as “divorce memoirs,” such as Leslie Jamison’s Splinters and Lyz Lenz’s This American Ex-Wife, Mlotek’s book reveals few details about her marriage or its dissolution. She seems conscious of the possibility that some readers might be frustrated with her obliqueness, or find her evasive. “Because I don’t tell stories,” she explains, “everyone thinks I have secrets.” Her friends seek reasons for her divorce; she offers none. “As a result, my friends and I are alike in that none of us had any idea why my marriage ended,” she writes, before adding a parenthetical caveat: “We are different in that they think they can find the answer, and I know I never will.”

No Fault’s pointed ambivalence demands that readers recalibrate their expectations for a memoir written by a woman who chose divorce over a man. Those searching for catharsis or an applicable remedy to their own heartaches and existential muddles will find only one definitive answer—that no person can ever fully know her own mind. This, Mlotek claims, is the memoirist’s true work: to articulate the extent to which we are obscure to ourselves.

[Read: A grim view of marriage—and an exhortation to leave it]

If No Fault’s ambiguity holds readers at arm’s length, it supplies us with sufficient biographical detail to understand its context. Mlotek is 10 years old when she begins advising her mother, a divorce mediator, to leave her father. Nevertheless, her parents remain in their quarrelsome union until she is 19. In the intervening years, Mlotek works in her mother’s basement office and becomes a peripheral witness to one broken marriage after the next. “I began to think of our home as the place where other families fell apart,” she writes. Eventually, it seems as if Mlotek’s “entire world was divorce.” “All the adults I knew were getting divorced,” she explains, “or should have been.” Perhaps naturally, Mlotek develops some suspicion of marriage, an institution, as she sees it, that sets the terms for millions of lives—imposes its template—only to prove itself an ill-fitting arrangement time and time again.

Nonetheless, Mlotek is in high school when she falls in love with the man she will later marry. As their friends glide in and out of liaisons, Mlotek and her boyfriend build a life together, their commitment mostly steadfast over the course of 12 years. They eventually marry because doing so enables them to relocate from Canada to New York. After one painful, fractious year as husband and wife, they separate and then divorce.

In the disorienting period that follows, Mlotek is not merely a participant in divorce, but also a theorist of it; grief inspires a wide-ranging query into its cultural significance and reverberations. She watches films, both recent and decades-old, that focus on divorced or divorcing women, including An Unmarried Woman and Marriage Story. She interrogates the remarriage plots of films such as The Philadelphia Story and Ticket to Paradise, in which couples divorce and then return to each other. She reads novels about marriages in crisis: Jenny Offill’s Dept. of Speculation, Jamaica Kincaid’s See Now Then. She repeatedly returns to Phyllis Rose’s 1983 critical study, Parallel Lives: Five Victorian Marriages, which posits a motivation for readers of memoir. “We are desperate for information about how other people live,” Rose writes, “because we want to know how to live ourselves.”

And yet, the cumulative effect of this literary and cultural exploration is anything but prescriptive (whatever the messages of some of the films themselves). On the contrary, these works form a trail of historical and imagined personalities, full of desires and disinclinations that misalign. Most of the people and characters Mlotek encounters are married (or tried to be), and many of them are unhappy in that commitment. In several of these cases, marriage might well be an expression of what the critic Lauren Berlant called “cruel optimism,” in which a person desires what stymies them, or as Mlotek puts it, chooses “what hurts.” These readings register not as a collective indictment of conventional marriage—not exactly; instead they illuminate, often queasily, our misplaced confidence in one institution’s capacity to facilitate the happiness of the masses.

Of course, couples have long sought to customize, even revolutionize, the marital bond. Mlotek examines Audre Lorde’s attempt to redefine matrimony and family when she married her friend Edwin Rollins in 1962. Lorde had been living openly as a lesbian, Rollins was a gay man, and they were determined to shape their relationship according to their ideals. The experiment was relatively short-lived (they divorced in 1970). In microcosmic terms, Lorde and Rollins enact what Mlotek describes as the “ambiguity” of the “decisions and relationships and writings” of people who tried to “build something more than what was already familiar.” Their failed attempt might seem to suggest that such endeavors are fruitless. But I suspect that this institution can only truly transform through the persistence of people like Lorde and Rollins, until different ways of being happily married evolve from anomalies to real possibilities.

[Read: A marriage that changed literary history]

Divorce, too, has changed over the years. Early in her memoir, Mlotek introduces its titular term, no fault, which refers to a divorce obtained without the designation of blame. California was the first state to legalize no-fault divorce in 1969; New York was the last, in 2010. As Mlotek suggests, the legal designation bestows a crucial liberty upon couples, particularly women: It means that leaving one’s spouse “does not require a reason”—abuse, for example, or infidelity—“beyond choice.” But with freedom can come ambivalence. To end a marriage, a person must weigh competing desires—and determine what they are willing to tolerate, and what they can bear to grieve.

No fault is a provocative term, one that serves as a loose, yet useful, organizing metaphor for a memoir that rigorously resists the clear delineations inherent to apportioned blame. Story plots so often cohere around fault; without it, readers are abandoned to shades of gray. At times I wished the book paid more attention to this term, for Mlotek to more fully consider its potential resonances in the archives she has studied. But perhaps I was simply responding to my own deep-seated predilections, in text and in life, for a logical narrative thread. The title No Fault still sets the tone for Mlotek’s tender exploration into the obscurities of human intimacy. That is enough.

Having admitted my own predispositions, I will lay my cards on the table. I have been guilty of treating love stories as prescriptions, certain that a marriage plot of my own would steady my emotional unruliness. In 2010, this tendency propelled me to marry my college boyfriend; barely two months later, I fell in love with a classmate and realized that I had made a terrible mistake. My own no-fault divorce was finalized in the fall of 2011. Nearly three years later, I married my classmate; our son was born in 2021. I suppose you could call this another love story, but I prefer the formulation Mlotek offers in her conclusion: It’s merely “what happened after” I shifted the course of my life, by acknowledging a feeling I couldn’t ignore and making a different choice.